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Are You Guilty of “Phubbing”?

Margaret Lipman
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Updated: May 16, 2024
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The last decade or so has seen rapid advancements in mobile technology. In 2012, less than half of American adults owned smartphones. Now, that figure hovers around 85% (97% when including all cell phones).

With such a dramatic increase in smartphone usage, our behavior has also changed – and etiquette and social norms have struggled to keep up. Media outlets such as The Guardian and The Washington Post recently explored this topic, collecting insights from etiquette experts to help people navigate the “new rules” of talking, texting, video calling, scrolling, streaming, and more.

One of the most significant phone etiquette issues isn’t particularly new. The term “phubbing” was coined in 2012 as part of a marketing campaign for a dictionary in Australia and has since caught on around the world. “Phubbing” refers to being ignored during a face-to-face interaction by someone – often a friend, colleague, or loved one – who is distracted by their phone.

Several studies have found that people who experience phubbing feel less satisfaction with their relationships. Reaching for a device (rather than for one’s partner) first thing in the morning, scrolling during mealtimes, and picking up the phone to read a notification during a conversation (or worse, an intimate moment) are examples of phubbing that people find particularly irritating.

New technology, new etiquette rules:

  • The new rules of phone etiquette extend beyond the phubbing issue. Another significant change that has accompanied widespread smartphone use is that voicemails are now largely obsolete. Sending a text (or an email, depending on the context) is widely considered to be a better way to convey information quickly and accurately.

  • Newer smartphones are able to transcribe voicemails into text, making them redundant when the intent is simply to convey information. However, etiquette experts say that leaving an audio message is still completely acceptable when you want to convey a sentiment that the recipient will enjoy hearing, such as “I love you” or “Good luck.”

  • Even the simple act of calling someone on the phone has now become far more emotionally complex than in previous generations. According to etiquette experts, it’s often more polite to send a text message to arrange a phone call, rather than calling without warning. This is especially true with video calling, except for those you call regularly, such as close family members.

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Margaret Lipman
By Margaret Lipman
With years of experience as an educator, Margaret Lipman produces thoughtful and informative content across a wide range of topics. Her articles cover essential areas such as finance, parenting, health and wellness, nutrition, educational strategies. Margaret's writing is guided by her passion for enriching the lives of her readers through practical advice and well-researched information.
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Margaret Lipman
Margaret Lipman
With years of experience as an educator, Margaret Lipman produces thoughtful and informative content across a wide range...
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